Shadow Work for Total Beginners – Change Your Life Today
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.“
Carl Jung
Shadow work is a real buzz term these days – especially within the self-development & spiritual communities.
Maybe you’ve heard it a few times, and you’ve wondered what shadow work actually means. At first glance, the term seems a little scary. It might make you think of your ‘dark side’ or ‘evil side’ that you have to keep under control. I’m here to dispel that notion and show you how life-changing it can be!
What is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the practice of looking inward, and casting a light on our ‘shadow’. This can involve journaling, reflecting, meditating, and more. In my opinion, it’s the ultimate self-therapy!
What the heck is my shadow?
Let me get this clear: your shadow is not your ‘dark side’ or the ‘bad’ parts of you. It’s any repressed emotion that causes you stress. Everyone has a shadow. And, everyone’s shadows will be made up of different things and will be caused by different reasons. This can include any limiting beliefs you have about yourself or the world around you – any story you tell yourself that’s holding you back.
When we’re young, we are learning so much about the world around us – and the things that happen to us shape our perspective of ourselves and our place in the world. So, we may unknowingly be holding on to limiting beliefs that simply aren’t helpful or true!
Can you give me an example? This seems a little out there.
Definitely. Have you ever said any of these things to yourself?
- I am not good enough, no matter what I do
- Other people don’t actually like me
- I’ll never be successful / happy / loved / attractive (insert any other adjective here)
- I’m ugly / dumb / boring (insert any other mean adjective here)
You’re saying I can change those beliefs?
You can and you should! Some of these ideas were ingrained at a very young age, so it’s no wonder you believe these things about yourself.
When you were a kid, did you ever try really hard to do something, and still failed? The story you might have told yourself is “I am not good enough, no matter what I do”. Or, did someone call you ugly once and you never forgot it?
Trust me, I’m the same way. When I was a kid, a classmate once told me I had “weird knees” and I didn’t wear shorts for longer than I’d like to admit.
Were you ever made fun of for part of your personality? Let’s say, when you were a kid, you loved outer space. You could talk about it all day, to anyone who would listen. Then, other kids may have made fun of you, or your parents may have even told you to tone down the space talk.
Even though this doesn’t seem like a huge deal – what it teaches you, as a child, is that you need to tone down parts of yourself for others. You start to believe that if others knew the ‘real you’, they wouldn’t like you.
The little things and the big things
As you can see from the examples above, a limiting belief isn’t only formed as the result of a large trauma (think: abuse). It can also be caused by seemingly smaller things.
The things that happened to you in your past are NOT your fault. But, your healing is your responsibility.
Now what do I do?
Get ready to go deep. Here’s my step-by-step guide on how to start shadow work:
- Grab a journal (or any blank piece of paper).
- Write down your limiting belief.
- Then free-write. Write down all your thoughts and feelings, and any past situations that come up. Keep going until you get to the root of your belief.
- Once you get to the root, ask yourself: what story did my younger self create – and how does spelling it out make me think about it now?
- Queue epiphany!
- Rinse and repeat as many times as necessary.
Writers block?
Here are some prompts to get you started:
- When I set goals for myself, underneath it all, I think ____________________.
- Do you hold grudges against others that could be let go? What is your motive for holding on to them?
- Write down 5 negative traits and 5 positive traits that one of your parents / caregivers have. Now, explore how some of those traits live in you.
- What is something you should forgive yourself for? Why haven’t you forgiven yourself yet, and can you do that now?
By shining a light on your shadow, you’re releasing yourself from your limiting beliefs! It is by no means easy, and will likely bring up a lot of emotions. But, once you realize that you are an amazing, abundant, powerful human being, you are free to create the life you want. Nothing holds you back.
Must-Listen Podcast Episodes:
Can’t get enough shadow work talk now? Check out these podcast episodes that dive deep:
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